'Cause Russian's can't abide music:
Russian psychiatrists practicing music therapy to treat mental disorders have concluded that the healing effect of sounds fail to improve the state of most of their patients. Music that proves soothing and calming for Europeans and Americans may further aggravate disorders Russians suffer from.
....Music that proves soothing and calming for Europeans and Americans may further aggravate disorders that Russians suffer from.
....A survey by Russian doctors has revealed that sounds pleasant for Europeans and Americans may have a very different effect on Russians.
For example, elsewhere around the globe doctors used sounds of nature to treat psychasthenic neurosis. The Russian doctors, having adopted the method, discovered that Russians are afraid of the sound made by a flying mosquito, but on the other hand like the sound of oars splashing on water or the croaking of frogs.
Unlike European patients, Russians do not find the sound of logs crackling in the fireplace soothing; on the contrary, they associate the sound with the threat of fire.
Meaning that if their savage breasts can't be soothed, there's still their bottoms:
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