...when the cow is stupid, and you're broke:
Matthew Bushell, 33, was quite happy to have Tracy Harper make a 100-mile journey to his home in Southport, Merseyside, and even happier to spend six hours in bed with her.
But when it came time to settle up he suddenly became a little reticent.
His first thought was to stall by inviting her out for a post-coital drink. Then he panicked, driving to a pub car park and speeding off as soon as she got out of the passenger door.
Later he sent her a text message saying: "Sorry Tracy. Had to do it. Did not have a penny at the time. Hope you got home safely."
Miss Harper, who had to return to Bradford, West Yorkshire, minus her £120-an-hour fee, was so angry that she lodged an official complaint with police.
Bushell was promptly arrested and charged with dishonestly obtaining sexual favours by deception.
....[Miss Harper] said last night: "I thought escorting wouldn't just be about sex - I thought it would be going out to events and maybe a bit glamorous.
"But Bushell didn't even give me a cup of tea, even though I asked him twice."
Miss Harper added: "I realise now that I was too trusting and naive. I just hope I can warn other girls who possibly think the escort industry isn't all about sex. Well, it is - and it's not worth it."