The manliest girl in America has decided to get over it. Even though she'll probably win on Appeal some time next year, Martha Stewart apparently thinks her business career needs an end to the uncertainty immediately.
Those fortunate enough to live in the Seattle area, know from the Official Martha Stewart Correspondent of the David Boze Show, that Martha Stewart did not engage in illegal insider trading in the sale of approximately 4,000 shares of Imclone stock. Unlike that company's founder (and Martha friend) Sam Waksal.
Martha was convicted of lying to a federal investigator--and not while under oath--about the reasons she sold said stock while on a plane flying to Mexico in late December 2001. But at least one juror in her trial has made public statements indicating he thought she had been charged with insider trading--which she had not. That prejudicial information should not have been allowed to color her actual trial, which will likely result in Martha having her conviction overturned by the Court of Appeals.
Which makes her decision to simultaneously serve a five month sentence and continue to both proclaim her innocence, and pursue the formal appeal with former Solicitor General Walter Dellinger, somewhat astounding. If I were a Swift Boat commander, that's the kind of person I want commanding the other boat beside me. And I think George W. Bush should also.
Therefore, I propose my Grand Unified Theory of the Election of 2004. President Bush should immediately Pardon Martha Stewart.
Further, he should refuse to attend any debates until the League of Women Voters (or whatever troublemakers are in charge of them) agrees to replace Bob Schieffer of CBS News as moderator of one debate, with Manly Girl Martha.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
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