Friday, January 07, 2005

We've Been Reading Your Fiction For Years, Paul

Renaissance Man wannabe Paul Krugman, thinks he will enhance his vita:

I've been thinking of writing a political novel. It will be a bad novel because there won't be any nuance: the villains won't just espouse an ideology I disagree with - they'll be hypocrites, cranks and scoundrels.

In my bad novel, a famous moralist who demanded national outrage over an affair and writes best-selling books about virtue will turn out to be hiding an expensive gambling habit. A talk radio host who advocates harsh penalties for drug violators will turn out to be hiding his own drug addiction.

In my bad novel, crusaders for moral values will be driven by strange obsessions. One senator's diatribe against gay marriage will link it to "man on dog" sex. Another will rant about the dangers of lesbians in high school bathrooms.

The FLUBA Belles Lettres Committee recommends the Princeton economist go right ahead, if he agrees to include a character with a John Bates Clark medal who tells gullible readers of his New York Times column that the special bonds held by the Social Security 'trust fund' are real economic assets just like the Treasury bonds held by Japanese pension funds.

And who voted for a major party presidential candidate who claimed to be a war hero, but turned out to be a collaborator with the enemy, who falsified After Action Reports to gain medals he was not entitled to (which allowed him to exit the war zone after 4 months), who was refused an honorable discharge when his six year military obligation was up in 1972--only to mysteriously get one in 1978--and who dishonestly charged his opponent hadn't fulfilled his military obligation.

Go ahead, Paul. Make our day.

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